This installment of 5 Questions is brought to us by Megan, an awesome young woman who followed her dream of getting a PhD from one of the top physics programs in the nation. She shares her experiences in this challenging undertaking.
Why did you pursue this course?
I always knew I wanted to do science as a career. In high school, I narrowed that down to physics, and in my undergrad program they said you should get a PhD. I definitely attained many skills, not just in physics knowledge but in hands on lab experience, lab management, repairs, etc that I did not have with only a bachelor’s degree. Because of my degree I got the job I have now, and while it is hard work, I am good at it because I spent the time to get my PhD.
Who encouraged and motivated you?
There are several people who were essential to this long journey – my acknowledgements section of my thesis was over 3 pages long! Of course, my husband and family provided emotional support, but I think the person who was essential was my thesis advisor, Zeke. It’s a long story, but Zeke did not start out as my advisor. I worked on a collaboration project with him and my advising professor. However, when I wasn’t getting the advising I needed, he stepped in and helped mentor me. Eventually I joined his group, but he was always there for the everyday issues as well as the big issues that threatened to derail my progress.
What were obstacles that you are proud of overcoming?
Getting a PhD is really, really hard. It is definitely the hardest thing I have done. First there are the tests to get in. For physics, you have to take this insane test called the physics GRE, for which women notoriously score worse on – and it has been shown that this test score does not correlate to success in grad school. Luckily, my program did not weigh that very heavily. I was able to get in on my other strong credentials despite my extremely low score.
Then there are the classes – I went from being a top student in my undergrad to struggling to be average. Part of this is also because getting a B- in grad school is failing. After taking a couple years of classes there is some kind of candidacy exam – in my case it was more of a project, but they can ask you anything during your final presentation. Almost everyone passes on the first try, almost. Part of the reason I think I failed on my first try was because I psyched myself out about it and did not come across confidently in my presentation. Luckily, I did not have to start the whole thing over, but was given additional questions to answer and present. I knew my stuff much better in the 2nd presentation and was able to continue onto to my PhD.
While all of those things were a specific test or project, the research part is a lot more open ended. The ultimate goal is to make a discovery that contributes to your field, but just because you work hard, doesn’t mean your experiment will work or give you new and exciting results. I think a lot of people really hit the bottom in their 4th year. Average for a physics PhD is 6 years. By 4 years you are way too invested to give up, but still years away from finishing. I hit a point during my 4th year where I was miserable and anxious and thought about giving up. I didn’t, one, because I didn’t have another plan, but also because Zeke was able to help me come up with some solutions that made my environment better. I also sought some professional help.
When did you realize that you were on the right path?
At one point, Zeke said to me that he thought the grad students who finished in 6 years, not 5, ended up stronger. When I got to my 6th I finally understood that. I really felt that the 6th year was where I hit my stride. I really was an expert and independent researcher.
At the start of my 6th year, I went to a conference and presented some data to a room of about 150 people. I was so confident in my presentation. It went so well that afterwards people asked me if I was a post-doc or a professor because they didn’t think I was a student! When I gave my thesis presentation I wasn’t nervous at all – it was so different from my candidacy exam. As far as helping others, I am still in contact with a former lab mate and I told him about my low point during my 4th year. He said he was glad to hear what he was going through was normal.
Where did you find inspiration and ideas?
Resources definitely included my fellow graduate students who were going through the same struggles I was, but one place online that helped was reddit. There are some really supportive communities like the LadiesofScience subreddit. I also found some interests beyond my research, getting involved in science communication and helping start a blog about women in physics.
You rock Megan!
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